I’ve always wanted to connect with people on a deep, soul level.
As a child I found it was hard to make friends. I thought everyone knew that they could fly, had a two-way relationship with their favorite stuffed animal, and could see angels. It was when I was about ten years old that I realized this wasn’t the case. That’s when I went into hiding, and it took me almost fifteen years to finally begin to come out of hiding. In hiding, no one knew that I could see these things or that I could hear responses from my favorite stuffed elephant Dumbo. I tried to hard to be a ‘normal’ kid, but it never felt right. I felt frustrated with the shallowness of the friendships I had and ached for deeper connections and relationships.
After a while I taught myself to hold off on showing any of my personality until I could feel out or get a sense of who/what I was encountering. Then, as if I was picking out an outfit for the day, I would pick out a personality. Was I going to be fun and outgoing around these people? Or a quiet leader? Or a mimic of who I was with? How about a shy people-pleaser? Whichever personality I chose, it was never the real me. It was never the intuitive, introverted but friendly woman I knew I was at my core. Until finally, during the summer of 2015, I decided to get to know myself.
I chose to start with something simple, so I asked myself what type of hairstyle I wanted. I’d always had medium length, flat, lifeless, brown hair. Sure I’d spent a couple summers applying copious amounts of lemon juice and Sun-in with the hopes of having some highlights. The Real Me wanted a completely new, easy to care for hairdo. After much consideration, I decided I’d like to have dreadlocks. Not a popular hairstyle by any means, but one so full of possibility, potential, and beauty that I knew I wanted to try it. And you know what? I LOVED my hair like that more than I have ever loved any hairstyle I’ve ever had. It’s imperfect, full of life and volume, and a little bit wild–just like me! After that, making decisions for myself that honored myself began to get easier each time.
At the time my family and I were living in an energetic black hole. We had moved away from all close family and friends, which was harder to deal with than we thought it would be for three social people. Tempers were short, patience was thin, and the fun times were few and far between. My husband and I knew we needed a change. So we decided to move back home. We worked and saved for eight months, earning enough to make the cross-country move. We left that place without a look behind us. All we knew was that we were moving to where our people were. We had no home, no job, nothing but the desire for a better life. It was a hard process, but with lots of work and intention we found a great home in a neighborhood that I had previously only dreamed of living in. We both found work and were reconnecting with friends and family we hadn’t seen in about five years. All three of us were flourishing under the feeling of freedom that comes from being where you are meant to be.
During this time I decided to sign up for the Intuitive Mind Psychic Mastery Program, which was a year-long intensive experiential program that taught ancient healing techniques. I KNEW I had to do this. The program required a huge time commitment to myself. It was in-tents (Angie ;-). It was difficult at times. It was just what I needed! Learning how to psychically read and heal other people showed me so very many things about myself. Most importantly it taught me how to own being the Real Me. It also taught me how to quit carrying old baggage around. I’m sure I still have years of clearing baggage left to do, but even starting to release what was old and outdated made room for so many new experiences and opportunities.
The year was a yo-yo of incredible highs and extreme lows. What was different about these lows, was that now I had the tools to work through them and move on; before the program I would have shoved those emotions down and put my head in the sand until something else came along that shifted my attention. In the process of learning, I took the opportunity to become someone who deals with stuff and moves on. I’d always known I was someone like that, but never had the tools to do so. Celebrating the highs felt amazing. The first time I cleared a grotesque entity out of a client’s field–amazing. The first time I traveled astrally up to the Akashic Records–amazing. The first time I saw and interacted with land spirits and trees–amazing. Realizing that I could psychically read clairvoyantly (seeing), clairaudiently (hearing), and clairsentiently (knowing)–amazing. So many new, challenging, unexpected things happened while I was completing the program it’s still hard to wrap my brain around all of it.
After graduating from the program in November of 2016, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with this new knowledge. People in my life encouraged me to read professionally. I wasn’t so sure. As a home-schooling work-from-home mom, it was hard to imagine also offering psychic readings to clients for pay. I was still reading people here and there, but as a “let me help you out of this situation” option. One day in April, opportunity knocked. I was asked to join a group of healers and share an office space. It all clicked together, and a month later Deep Soul Dives was open for business. I saw my first paid client only six weeks after accepting the guidance from Spirit as my map and going with what the Real Me wanted to do. Serendipity at its finest.
During the process of opening up the office space I discovered a love of painting after attending a paint and sip event. I’d always been told I “wasn’t creative”, “had no artistic talent”, and other things that caused me to believe I wasn’t capable of creating. After that paint class I quickly went out to buy my own paints. Having never even attended an art class I had no idea what I was doing. So I turned to what I did know–receiving guidance from Spirit. I used the tools I’d learned during my training to open up my creativity. I instantly fell in love with what I now know is Intuitive Painting. Combining meditation techniques, energy reading, and painting has been so much fun! It totally took the judgement out of the process of creating art and left room for fun, healing, and self-growth. I worked with others to create art classes that gave others the opportunity to experience this magic. It was so inspiring to see people who identified as “non-artists” create beautiful masterpieces. Meanwhile I proceeded to explore my own creativity at home painting and leading my own paint & sip classes.
For a year I provided psychic readings, led a women’s circle, and taught intuitive painting classes out of the office space. However, I soon realized that I was losing money financially. The cost of the space was more than I had time to generate only reading and teaching on nights and weekends. Once my year contract expired I moved out and decided to work from home. I continued to host paint classes at my house or at friends’ houses, which was satisfying but left me feeling like I wanted to do more.
In January of 2019 I decided that this would be the year I connected with my creativity. I spent a lot of time clearing the energy, societal programming, and my own blocks to allowing my creativity to flow. The work paid off and I was soon painting most days. I turned the guest bedroom in my home into an art studio. Best decision ever!! I continued to work with painting with energy and my paintings seemed to just come alive using the techniques I’d created.
A friend and I had been toying with the idea of teaching virtual painting classes and ten people showed up for our first one! It was so much fun I taught two more in the following months. The participants were friends from my Psychic Mastery Alumni community and they instantly fell in love with the techniques and asked for more classes. Using the meditations to open up people’s creative channels really seems to help everyone connect to their creativity in a different way, resulting in rich and deep paintings from all skill levels. I look forward to when I begin offering these classes to a wider audience.
In April I shifted gears to focus on preparing for operating a booth at the local art fair in July. The last few months have been busy preparing paintings and setting up the business end of selling paintings as an artist. I do miss teaching the classes and want to get back to that very soon after the art fair.
My story continues, as I come alive through more experiences.
My story continues, as more time passes and more experiences are lived.